Ellen Kellner's "The Pro-Child Way: Dealing With an Ex"
I am a family law and divorce attorney in Palm Springs, California, and a Masters student of Family Life Education at Loma Linda University. I bumped into Ms. Kellner’s book while investigating resources to support parents involved in custody disputes, in order to help my own clients to make choices that facilitate their childrens’ best interests rather than playing out the natural reactivity of the competing agendas of many divorcing couples.
"The Pro-Child WaySM: Parenting with an Ex" recognizes that parenting in divorce involves a continuous renegotiation of financial and custodial perspectives, and a reconsideration of the power imbalances that flow from these issues and control-based fears. She is even handed in her treatment of fathers and mothers, which for me makes her very wise. Ellen Kellner reminds us that the most important and the most disempowered persons in divorce are our children. These vulnerable human beings depend utterly upon the wisdom of BOTH parents, and upon each parent’s desire and willingness to inquire their way to the truth of what serves their child’s best interests.
In addition, as any family lawyer can tell you, much staff and attorney time (often unbillable) gets wasted dealing with the sorts of complaints that Ellen describes as “the old way.” Asking clients to refer to this book so that they may themselves answer questions of how to respond to potentially annoying visitation issues is efficient and proactive.
The Pro-Child guide will help parents become grounded - and reasonable - in ways that are otherwise quite elusive.
I have copies of her book on hand to give away to my divorcing clients. It is but a small gift, especially considering how much I must charge my clients, and how much they might save by avoiding unnecessary adversarial maneuvering!
Here is the Amazon link:
Thurman W. Arnold III, Attorney