This post from mediate.com is a must read:
I am a "divorce attorney." (Because divorce is about people not widgets...) I see people engage in the ritual combat of divorce every day. It never ceases to amaze me how their professed spiritual beliefs disappear the minute the start the ritual. It is sad, but it is because they enter a more powerful belief set. A more powerful archetype/
For make no mistake-- divorce IS a ritual. An unholy one, a destructive one... but a ritual. A VERY public ritual. For most people it is a ritual with far greater power than their private spiritual practice. I think this is part of what this movement, "cutting edge law" seeks to change.
You've seen it-- famous "gurus" and others we admire who end up in messy divorces.It is also sad that someone who made a particular spiritual practice part of their public persona to publicly abandon it... but it is NOT surprising. It is,of course, a collective phenomenon.
[Client - Attorney Q and A]
A. This may be your first, second, or even third divorce. I've had my own obligatory divorce, but I've also had 500 (whose counting?) other folks' divorces as well. Patterns repeat since the experience of divorce is essentially the same. I say with confidence that I know what you're feeling, thinking, how you are likely reacting, and where things are probably heading. I have watched lots of needless suffering.
All suffering is mind-induced. Suffering simply doesn't exist in the 'real' world. I understand this may sound like zen-speak or 'mindful platitudes,' but Reality is never what we expect. It is impossible for anyone to give Truth - or hold it back for that matter, and so it doesn't matter if what I say means to you what it means to me: We must all experience what we discover for ourselves in order to know it.
I can give some pointers in hopes they trigger some resonance and interest, so that you might explore beyond what is familiar for you. My purpose includes being a force for positive change, and while I don't know why the universe would choose me to become a mindful divorce lawyer, 'all that is' has an exquisite sense of humor and irony.
Mindfulness is the key to freeing yourself from the tyranny of resentment. The tyranny of mind is what creates and destroys relationship. If you want to survive your divorce or other family/relationship dispute, mindfulness may be useful to you. Divorce, a kind of dying, is an invitation to awaken and surrender.