adversarial divorce
Can People’s Minds Be Changed By Information?
Can people’s minds be changed by information? I’d like to think so—but in my practice of law—where I was (and am) an acknowledged expert in both the law and what happens when one spouse goes off to court and starts a legal battle—I had finally realized that no matter how much I informed people… they persisted in their false beliefs. So I began to try to understand it.
I read two books in particular—and parts of another. From these it became clear that most people—not all thank God—will keep an opinion they are invested in no matter how much proof there is that they are off base.
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Lawyers First chapter of the second part of my book...
Finding Your Way Home Part 2 Chapter 22
Witness to Injustice: Is There Any solution?
“It takes two to speak the truth-- One to speak and the other to hear.” Henry David Thoreau
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle, and the other is as if everything is a miracle.”
~ Albert Einstein
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General Interest Mark Baer blog
Mark seems to feel exactly as I do about the mess that is divorce in our California courts so I am ""blogging" his blog.
http://www.markbaeresq.com/Pasadena-Family-Law-Blog/2011/February/Philos...
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I just tried to post this as part of an ongoing discussion with a very disillusioned litigant on the ABA site... I suspect they won't post so here it is:
FF I agree with you that the adversarial system makes it possible in most cases for one party to drive an entire case. But there are other tools-- see, e.g. "Aikido: Life Lessons from an American Sensei" by George Leonard.
But this perceived "reality" is not the true reality any more than is was when Einstein discovered E=MC squared" while his peers were arguing about molecules.
See also (and there I put this website.) and some stuff about problems and the mindset that created it etc.
AARG.
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The Nobel Prize For Game Theory, And Why We Should Care
Funny thing: I recently (2005) met K.C. Cole, a writer I have long admired, and bought her book "The Universe and the Teacup: the Mathematics of Truth and Beauty." In her elegant way, K.C. explains game theory for the layman, and I am shocked to discover it has been around for over 50 years. Heartened to discover that the Nobel prize just awarded was for this research!
In it, many scientists have done research with groups of people in situations where there is less of something than existing demand, and modeled the way people deal with this (common) scenario.
They have come up with ways to assign differing values, to, say, the house in a divorce case, so that the non dollar values (which we all know are the real drivers in most cases) are dealt with.
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Lawyers Client as Peacemaker: Define Your Experience of Divorce by Choosing a Peacemaking Lawyer
“I know that you have a hundred complex cases, Against God in court, But never mind wayfarer Let’s just get out of this mess And pray to be loving and humble….”
- Hafiz, From Translations of Daniel Ladinsky “The Gift: Out of this Mess”
If you are considering or facing a divorce, I invite you to think outside the box. You alone have the ability to define your experiences upon separating your affairs from those of another whom once you loved. Seek out lawyers who aspire to be peacemakers rather than warriors. Destruction is easy: Set a brave new course instead.
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